I'm Conflict Averse

Who in their right mind isn’t conflict averse?

I cannot tell you how often I hear people say, “I’m conflict-averse” or “They’re conflict-averse.” Conflict aversion seems to be an epidemic.

But, if you think about it, saying you’re conflict-averse is like saying, “I’m human.” It’s stating the obvious.

As if “conflict-philia” is even a thing!

No question: Conflict is hard. It’s uncomfortable.

I totally want to avoid conflict. Not just because it can be unpleasant. But also because, let’s face it, conflict requires a winner. And a loser. One up, one down. I don’t want to play that game.

But here’s my worry: By avoiding conflict, am I avoiding engagement?

Is there a way for me — and this is weird — to utilize scary moments? to listen? to gain understanding?

Is it possible that what I anticipate will be conflict is actually an opportunity for connection?

In other words, can I be in my right mind and engage and avoid conflict?

What would that right mind look like? 

Betsy BurrisComment