I'm going to write an emotions dictionary.

In which I consider the value of reading emotions to see what they can tell us

I know. This news can’t be more exciting.

Here’s why I want to write an emotions dictionary in blog format: because I have learned how valuable emotions are in helping me and others attune our relationships. Emotions are incredibly accurate data, and knowing how to use them begins with — well, it begins with noticing them.

What some call Interoceptive Awareness. (And others call self-awareness.) More on that another time.

OK so once you’ve noticed your emotions and given them a label (if you can), it can really help to have someplace to go to think about what those emotions might mean. Cuz they do mean things. Emotions really are telling us stuff that can be extremely useful.

Hence my dictionary.

Just so you know, it won’t be a boring dictionary. It won’t be, like

emotion: (ee-moh-shun); (noun); feelings

It’ll be a bunch of informal treatises on emotions of my choosing that I have encountered in my life and my work as a psychotherapist and psycho-coach. Emotions that I work with a lot to really good effect. I’ll share my take on these emotions and possibly a story or two, which will make this dictionary o so different from that heavy ol’ tome you consult every day.

And — but? — I highly recommend that you, dear reader, reserve the right to meditate on your feelings to discover their particular messages about your particular life experiences. As Antonio Damasio tells us in his very interesting book Feeling & Knowing, emotions are crucial indicators of how we are doing, how far our bodies are from homeostasis. (Homeostasis being a very desirable physiological state.) Paying attention and responding thoughtfully to emotions is as important as paying attention and responding thoughtfully to pain. Our survival depends on it.

If my dictionary isn’t enough for you, you can also draw from a book called The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You. A perfect resource!

Finally, I gotta say: The last thing a lot of people want to do is dive into their emotions. I think they’re afraid of where their emotions will take them. Like emotions are dangerous or distracting or uncontrollable or undermining or frivolous or useless. Or unreliable! And therefore perilous. I know this feeling, this fear of finding out what our emotions are trying desperately to tell us. This belief that emotions will engulf me and lead me astray. But I now know different. This is the undeniable truth:

Emotions are information.

NOT attending to them is where the peril lies.