Let's define resentment.

In which I consider this terrible -- and wonderful! -- emotion

Resentment: Being out of whack. And not liking it.

(I told you this would not be your regular dictionary.)

Resentment is one of my favorite emotions (besides anger). I love resentment because, for me, it is so clean. It points directly to a problem I can actually solve.

The problem of imbalance.

The problem of being out of whack.

This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some things that can cause resentment in me:

• filling voids

• envying others’ successes

• not getting what I believe I deserve

I will write more about these sources of resentment in other posts, but here’s the theme that connects them all for me:

I get resentful when I perceive myself to be working harder than others are, and I’m doing it for insufficient reward.

When I lean in too far, work too hard, do things I really don’t need to do while hoping for something that I don’t get in return. Like recognition. Or appreciation. Or even just acknowledgment.

When I hope someone will value me. Or lift me up. Or want me because I’m so amazing. Or go out on a limb for me.

That kind of thing.

Resentment points me to an undeniable fact: I’m doing too much. I’m leaning into a void. I’m out of balance and need to consciously, deliberately get

back in whack.

I need to step back: get back into my body, return to my sense of self, value myself and my work, stop doing things I don’t want or need to do.

And let others step up.

And live with reality.

Examples to follow.