We have entered (or re-entered, as this is not the first time in history) the Era of the Asshole. Thanks to the models provided by prominent leaders, people seem to have given themselves permission to go uncontained: to just spew their shit all over everyone.
It’s time to reclaim decency.
So I am researching assholes. Well, not really: I have spent the past two decades helping people deal with the assholes in their lives, and I have dealt with my own assholism (as we’re all potentially assholes, even me!), so I feel like I’m already an expert. And, because I believe our rampant assholism is putting evolution into regression, I’m currently writing a book about them.
But I need examples.
From you, dear readers!
Here’s the asshole type I’m working on right now:
Entitled Assholes
These are the ones who expect you to give them whatever they want whenever they want it and fuck you – seriously: watch your back – if you don’t.
Know anyone like this?
I know you do.
College professors? You know students who behave as though their every wish is your command — and flame you in their end-of-semester evaluations if you hold them accountable.
Teachers? You know parents who blame you for their child’s infractions, insisting that their child shits pure gold. And you know students who resist and oppose you with absolute disrespect for the rules governing the world of school — because the students are supposed to run the show.
Anyone working in an office? You have colleagues who slack off then kiss ass or use your ideas or throw you under the bus, all to curry favor where the power is. Or you have a boss who plays favorites or runs away from conflict (thus allowing bad behavior to escalate) or withholds information or retaliates without warning or explanation.
Assholes abound wherever one or more humans congregate.
If you’re balking at categorizing a student or a parent or a co-worker or a boss as an asshole, I feel you. You are a kind and good person. But you might be burying your head in the sand. People everywhere these days are behaving badly, and other people are letting them get away with that bad behavior (hunh — who’s the asshole?).
Call them what you will. Narcissist? Baby? Untrustworthy nut job? Pathetic soul who knows not what he does? Whatever. Tell me about them, give me the details, so we can all learn not just how to neutralize them but also how to strengthen our relationships with them and render their need for assholism moot.
Because that is the whole point of Teaching through Emotions!
I would love it if you shared a story about an Entitled Asshole you know. If you don’t want to leave a comment for all to read — understandable — use the TTE hotline:
413.239.4158.
Or email me directly at betsy@teachingthroughemotions.com.
I will not share these stories with anyone (other than my eventual book readers — if I’m lucky), so there is no danger of your being exposed. And I encourage you to camouflage the characters in your story. I’ll further camouflage your story if I use it, so identities will never be known.
This would be so very helpful. Not just to me but to the people in the world who would like to learn how to deal with the Entitled Assholes in their lives in ways that help rebalance the world. Cuz that is up to us, each individual. Knowing the psychology of assholes, in this case Entitled Assholes, is a big step in this direction.
And, if you know someone who knows an asshole, please share this post with them.
I absolutely loved this post. Luckily, in retirement there are no assholes directly in my life. However, I do see this loudly in our government daily. I really hope that decency, integrity, and caring will replace this horror show in the near future.
Thank you for this so important focus on ego!! I’ve been struggling with low self-confidence, imposter syndrome, the works, for most of my life, and to understand the distinction between self-regard and egotism was sunshine on my heart!
I wonder if you and Joe would want to do a conversation on the gendered aspects of ego. I think men in our society are encouraged to have strong egos, while females are encouraged to be selfless always—and how the heck do we manage to overcome that message?